If I Were a Boy
by IHaveYourGoat
Summary: Sakura Haruno is frustrated with her life and the way that Sasuke always treats her so she decides to change herself completely. Sakura becomes Haru, taking a pill that changes her body for a day . Inspired by Beyonce's 'If I were a Boy'. Rating may go up
1. Chapter 1

Hey, this is the first chapter of If I Were a Boy. I came up with this while listening to the song by Beyonce, and for some reason it reminded me Sakura Haruno and the boys of Narutoverse. Hope you enjoy, please review.

1. there may be a lemon later on, and if so, I will be upping the rating.

2. This will more than likely consist of a mere 3 to 4 chapters, depending on whether or not it goes according to the planned plot. My stories tend to have a life of their own.

3. If there is OOC, I'm sorry

4. Do NOT flame

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Sakura stared at herself in the mirror, hating the pink locks that fell around her shoulders, framing that too soft face and large jade eyes no one ever took seriously… that including her teammates.

Sighing, she turned from her reflection briefly to pick up the pair of scissors resting on the small pink bag on top of the toilet.

Turning back, she began to chop off her hair, watching as it fell in a cloud of strands, slowly filling the sink.

She didn't stop until it reached her ears and spiked out like Narutos, though it was shorter.

Staring, she contemplated her new look with a critics eye before shaking her head. She still looked…so ridiculously feminine, so utterly un-shinobi like. In that moment of time, she suddenly hated that she were female.

Why couldn't she be born male? Strong instead of weak…so very weak….she wanted her teammates to look at her with respect instead of indulgence. She wanted Naruto to not hold back, and for Sasuke to actually listen.

Maybe her sensei would have treated her differently as well…but…that would never happen. Life had deemed her to be born as a female…but she would be a better boy then those men. If she were a boy, even just for a day…she would show them what a man should be.

She'd show them how to treat a female…how to show them how strong they were…how much they deserved their respect and attention.

Shaking her head again at the ridiculous notion, she rinsed the sink, watching the water wash away the remains of her futile attempt. She watched as they disappeared down the drain, along with her hopes, leaving her drained and weary.

These days she couldn't seem to find the sunlight in her life, couldn't seem to grow and reach past the dense branches of trees that now overshadowed her life…growing far more magnificently then the small Sakura tree, hidden in the shadows.

"If only I were a boy…" she sighed, turning off the tap and forcing herself to not meet her reflections eyes. She was afraid to see that familiar empty look…she didn't want to see it. Sakura whirled on her heel and left the small bathroom of her studio flat, and moved to her drawers as she threw her towel on the bed after toweling her newly cut hair dry. Looking through her clothes, she grabbed a dark t-shirt that was probably the only item she owned that bordered on masculine. Slipping it over her head, she didn't bother with binding her breasts, finding herself not caring that day.

Slipping on some black shorts, she ruffled her hair with her fingers before slipping on her sandals.

/**Why couldn't you be a boy for a day**/

That familiar voice spoke in her mind, slyly suggestive in its tone. Tying her hitae-ate around her neck, she paused in the process of finishing the knot. 'What?'

/**Why couldn't you be a boy for day**/ The voice repeated calmly, traces of excitement could be heard though. Sakura snorted, sardonically, done with the hitae-ate she slipped on some kunai. 'Because of several reasons…one is that it's physically impossible.'

/**Not as impossible as you think**/

On her way out the door, her hand paused on the door handle. "What exactly do you mean?" she asked out loud, her heart thundering in her ears. Inner Sakura smirked at this, pleased that she had her attention.

/**You know of the pills that Tsunade assigns to those on special missions…the ones that require them to alter their appearance…and in rare cases their gender…**/

For a moment, she stared out into space, thoughtfully, before realizing that she was actually considering it. Stiffening, she pulled the door open and stepped into the bright sunshine. 'No way…there is no way that Tsunade would agree to it. Those are dangerous anyway…you have no idea when they could expire and I would transform back. There is also the chance I might not. That is why it is only used in extreme cases…' She pushed Inner Sakura into the far recesses of her mind and forced herself to focus on the day ahead of her.

She had training with Kakashi that afternoon and she could afford to be a little late, considering he wouldn't show up until a couple hours after the set time. Sometimes she counted her blessings considering her predictable sensei.

Ignoring the inquisitive stares sent her way, she made her way to the popular ramen stand that Naruto frequently visited.

As expected, Naruto was there, slurping down noodles in a somewhat amusing display of gluttonous sin.

"Hey, Naruto." She said, sitting next to him, and running a hand through her hair as she nodded when the waitress asked if she wanted her usual bowl of miso. He turned his head to smile brightly at her, but ended up choking on his noodles, nearly upending his bowl on himself.

Sakura raised a lazy eyebrow at him, knowing full well what had caused the reaction. "You okay there, Naruto?" she inquired, innocently, patting him firmly on the back.

Naruto wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and turned fully on his stool to stare at her full on. "Your hair, Sakura…" he began tentatively, gesturing towards his own hair as he took in her appearance. She seemed…almost tired…and so un-Sakura.

She fingered a strand of hair, and nodded. "Yeah…I kind of wanted a change…a bit of an impulsive whim."

He nodded, unsure, and asked, quietly, "Are you okay, Sakura?"

Sakura looked at him, surprised at his sudden seriousness but nodded, assuredly. "Yes, I'm completely fine, Naruto…"

He studied her worriedly out of the corner of his eye as she accepted the miso graciously and began to spoon the hot liquid into her mouthing. Sighing in appreciation, she ignored his attention and focused on the soup and the warm feeling of it sliding down her throat and resting comfortably in her belly.

"So…Naruto…" she murmured, spooning the rest of it contents and swallowing it. Glancing at him through her lashes, she went on, conversationally, "How is Hinata?"

He blinked. "Huh?"

A bit annoyed with his ignorance, she continued, pleasantly, "You know, she's a nice girl…and she seems to really like you."

With discomfiture at the unexpected topic introduction, he shifted awkwardly on his stool and focused on his nearly empty third bowl. "Uh. Yeah…I guess." He mumbled, uncommitted. Scowling, she thought of the girl who continuously blushed whenever Naruto spared her a glance and who always was there with a smile for him. In fact, Sakura couldn't remember that girl after being negative towards or about Naruto. She seemed wholeheartedly committed…something that the boy in front of her seemed to fail to see. It made her uneasy how much it seemed to remind her of her relationship with Sasuke…

/**You think that you could be a better man**/

"Absolutely," She agreed without thinking, and then paused when she realized that Inner Sakura had chosen to rear her head again. Realizing her lapse, she slid off her stool and quickly paid the man behind the bar avoiding Narutos curious stare.

"See you later, Naruto…" she waved awkwardly, ignoring Inner Sakura's malicious chuckle.

/**Admit it, you want to try it**/

Shaking her head, she ran her fingers agitatedly through her ruffled boyish hair, feeling the beginning of a headache coming on. "Just can it…I don't need this right now." She muttered, tiredly, trying to find solace in the warm sunshine that fell on her face soothingly. Leaning her head back, she paused in her walk and allowed herself to relax and absorb the warmth for a moment.

Silence reigned and it seemed as if Inner Sakura had decided to spare her break. Opening her jade eyes, she lowered her chin and took a deep breath. Why was it so hard? Images of Hinata staring longingly at Naruto filled her mind and her jaw clenched. She knew what kind of heartache went along with a one-sided love.

She didn't want that for anyone else…especially a soft hearted girl like Hinata…who already had to deal with being the outcast of a gender fixated clan, the Hyuuga.

Gritting her teeth, she forced her feet to resume walking.

/**Help her, then. You can prevent all of that…if you won't do it for yourself, do it for her…**/

Faces blurred as she hurried through the streets and arrived at the training grounds. As expected, Kakashi wasn't there and she knew that Naruto would show up at any time. Sasuke, however, was there, leaning against the railing of the small bridge, his hands in his pockets as his dark stare focused on something in the distance.

"Hello, Sasuke." Sakura greeted him quietly, stopping beside him.

His stare didn't shift when he responded with a small "Hn".

Gritting her teeth, she pumped her fists as she tried to push down the steadily growing anger; it was this indifference that was the heart of it all. He thought he was just so damn superior…it didn't matter what she thought or felt. Much damn less how it affected her emotionally… he didn't even notice her change of appearance. And if he did…he obviously didn't find it important enough to acknowledge it.

How typical of the Uchiha...

Slumping back against the railing, she stared at her sandals...a random thought crossed her mind. What if the roles were reversed? How would Sasuke react to someone he cared about responding to his warmth with coldness? Coldness that never let up, never gentled its sting...growing worse with every passing day. How would he feel if he were in her position, feeling worthless every minute of her life and ending up in a curled up mess in his apartment that seemed forever empty...too large for its smallness. She was certain that he wouldn't be able to handle it. Hell, she couldn't and that was the down to quick description of her overall life!

Rubbing her eyes, she tried to ignore the pounding of the persistent headache and groaned. "This is going to be a long day..." she muttered beneath her breath, unaware of the emotionless stare from the boy next to her. He was watching her with those intense eyes of her, something flickering in their depths before focused ahead of him again.

She focused her chakra and slowly her headache subsided, until it gradually became a dull ache before vanishing. Sighing with relief, she lifted herself to perch on the railing and waited patiently for Kakashi to show up so they could begin their routine.

Closing her eyes, she raised her chin and again relished in the feeling of the sunlight filtering through the branches of the trees above her, washing her in gentle light, smoothing away her worries like a lovers hand. As she relaxed, her mind drifted and she found herself contemplatingly life, idly, imagining herself as a man and what kind she would be.

She would listen to the girl she loved...would treat her like the most precious being, protecting her while recognizing and respecting her strength and independence. If she were a boy...

/**Show them, Sakura...show them what kind of man they should be**/

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Thanks for reading, I promise that I will be posting the next chapter very very soon. I know that this is quite a place to end the chapter, however I promise I'll make up for it with the next chapter. Thanks. Virtual cookies for all!


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, just as I promised, here is the next chapter. Also, I want to thank xHoshiKuri for her beautiful fan art… to you, I give a huge ass virtual cookie and a big hug from me. : 3

As always, please review. It encourages me…makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks for reading.

1. Sasuke never left Konoha.

2. Do NOT flame...though please, review.

* * *

Today hadn't gone well.

Wincing, she finished cleaning the abrasions and cuts on her knuckles from punching everything within a ten foot radius into oblivion. Wrapping up her hand, she clipped the bandage in place, and ran her uninjured left hand through her hair in an agitated manner.

It had started out well enough. After a quirked eyebrow from Kakashi when he had shown up, their routine began with no problems. Kakashi, of course, insisted her being his weight again while he did push-ups. Gritting her teeth, Sakura had complied and while she settled between his shoulder blades she had contemplated her situation, while watching the clouds cross the sky overhead.

Reaching a hand up, she shielded her eyes from the sun and turned her head slightly to gaze at the boys training across the field from them.

"Kakashi…" she began, softly, continuing to watch the two spar viciously, neither giving ground. He gave a grunt, indicating he was listening. Taking a deep breath and releasing it with a sigh, she lowered her hand down onto her belly, and covered it with her other hand. "…am…am I useless?"

Immediately she regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, tensing when Kakashi paused in his pushups. After a brief pause however, he resumed them and answered, slowly, his breathing even, "No."

"But…I feel like I'm only…only a burden." She almost rolled her eyes at herself, mentally adding, 'No pun intended'.

Relaxing her muscles again, she turned her head away from the boys returning her attention to the bright sky.

"Why?"

Not expecting this question, she closed her eyes and bit her lip to dam all the words that wanted to break free and be heard. For so long, she had bottled it all up, only releasing them in her silent tears shed alone in her apartment…

She would never cry in front of them again. Inhaling, she held it before exhaling in an effort to stable her already quivery voice, "I'm treated differently. Sasuke refuses to acknowledge my presence…nobody treats me seriously, and most of the time…I'm being protected on missions…" Opening her eyes, she was horrified when a tear escaped and made its way down her pale cheek, dropping onto the back of Kakashi's jounin vest.

He smelt her tears, but focused on his push ups. It was true, that they treated her this way…but they had no choice. She _was _weak in physical aspects…though she more than made up for them mentally. Sakura was an incredibly gifted medic nin…she just wasn't…physically suited for the Shinobi lifestyle. But he didn't voice this, instead letting her deal with it silently.

Sakura was suddenly glad when Kakashi finished his pushups and she slipped off his back. Straightening her shirt, she didn't meet his eyes when he straightened and began stretching languidly, working on his tense muscles.

However, she could feel him, knowing that if she _did _look that dark eye would be half closed, watching her with a bored yet calculating expression from behind that mask.

"I want to spar, Kakashi." She suddenly spoke up, pumping her fists, suddenly blazoned by a surge of defiance. He blinked slowly, a bit surprised at the abrupt change of mood in the now fiery kunoichi.

Tilting his head, he nodded and began to walk towards the two boys still fighting. They looked up when they approached, pausing in their fighting.

"Switch partners, Naruto, you fight Sakura. I'll take Sasuke."

Naruto blinked, surprised, and a bit apprehensive at this while Sasuke just nodded, completely unaffected by it. Sasuke walked off with Kakashi to a place nearby while Sakura moved to the space Sasuke had previously occupied.

Sliding her feet into a defensive position, she met Naruto's gaze squarely, eyes full of challenge.

He scratched his head sheepishly, and smiled at her with his eyes closed. "Heh heh. Ne…Are you sure, Sakura?"

Her fists clenched and her eyes narrowed. "Naruto." She said warningly, a vein popping out on her forehead.

Sighing, his eyes opened and he reluctantly adopted a fighting stance. "Alright…"

Pushing chakra to her feet, she sprung forward, her fist low at her side as she gathered energy. Quickly he sidestepped her, barely missing her fist and jumped back when she followed with a spin kick.

Again and again he dodged her blows, never retaliating and it was starting to really piss her off, pushing her to go faster and hit harder.

"Take this seriously!" she growled, baring her teeth at him.

The startled look on his face was worth the effort when her fist collided with it, throwing him well across the clearing, slamming with a satisfying crack against a large tree that was instantly barreled over by the impact.

Cracking her knuckles, Inner Sakura quickly took over as she stalked after him with a dangerous gleam in her eye.

He pushed himself to his feet, a bit dazed but quickly dodged her blow, eyes bleeding red. "Alright, Sakura chan…" he muttered, blocking a kick and returning a vicious punch of his own. His knuckles smashed against her cheek, sending Sakura flying and landing in a crumbled heap a few yards away. Immediately his eyes cleared, and he hurried over to where she was on her hands and knees spitting out blood.

"Sakura…I'm so sorry…are you okay?" he reached out to touch her shoulder, but she smacked it away, averting her face.

"I'm fine." She bit out, stumbling to her feet, and wiping the blood from her mouth with a quick swipe of the back of her hand.

He watched her anxiously, shifting from foot to foot. "Sakura, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit you like that!" He turned and began to yell for Kakashi to come over but she grabbed his shoulder and spun him back around

"SHUT UP. I said I was fine!" she barked, glaring at him viciously.

He winced when he saw the huge mark of his fist begin to swell on her cheek, an ugly red color that was quickly turning black and purple. "Oh, god, Sakura…" he breathed, in horror.

Irritated, she crossed her arms with a huff. "I'm a kunoichi, I can take it. It's just a small mark."

They stared at each other, sunlight bathing them as Kakashi and Sasuke slowly made their way over.

"Sakura, come on let's get you to the hospital…" Kakashi began slowly, putting away his Icha Icha book into his jacket. Ripping her eyes from Naruto, she snarled wordlessly before stalking off.

"Sakura!" Naruto called after her, beginning to follow. Kakashi held out his arm though, holding him back. The blonde ninja looked at him, frustrated, but his sensei merely shook his head. The trio stood watching as the pink haired ninja quickly faded.

Away from the group, Sakura immediately slammed her fist into the tree nearest her.

"GOD DAMN IT!" she shouted, collapsing against it, her eyes clenched shut. Why did she have to do that? Why couldn't she have just done some yoga or something and stayed quiet? What the hell was she trying to prove? Just how pathetic she really was?

Calling herself every curse known, she pulled back the fist buried in tree only to smash it back. Tears rolled down her face as she tried to ignore the feelings of self loathing swell within her as she fought back the humiliation.

God…she couldn't even keep up with them. She was just a burden…no matter what Kakashi had said it was painfully obvious.

He had even fretted over such a minor injury…if it had been either of the other two it would have been ignored. But her? It was cause enough to break up the session. "Damn it…" she mumbled, brokenly, unable to help the sob that escaped her. "Damn it…"

Blinking, Sakura eyes slowly focused again on the wrapped hand she had been staring at for who knows how long. Looking around her bathroom, she shivered in the cold.

She wore nothing but a pair of shorts, having thrown the sweat soaked clothes into the hamper in the bathroom.

Sliding from the toilet seat to the blue tiled ground, she drew her knees against herself, shivering again.

/**Why are you torturing yourself? This is pathetic/**

Glaring into the empty air, she opted to ignore her scathing inner voice that was throwing mental fits at her behavior.

/**Get up. If you continue this, you're only being what they already think you are**/

Resting her cheek on her knees, she drew them in tighter, and stared blankly up at the fading sun through the window above her tub. It was getting late…she was supposed to be at the ramen stand soon.

As if backing it up, her stomach growled. Rolling her eyes, she released her legs and pushed herself to her feet. Catching a look of herself in the mirror, she contemplated her hair again and smiled a bit.

She liked it…though, it didn't match the face it framed…she was a bit surprised that she didn't regret it.

Leaving the bathroom, she grabbed her red vest from the closet, carelessly pulling it off the hanger.

Shrugging it on, she zipped it on, leaving her breasts unbound again. Pulling on her sandals, she picked up her wallet off the dresser on the way out. Locking the door behind her, she walked briskly to the stairs a little ways away, jogging down them to the street below.

Allowing herself to slow down, Sakura mingled in the loose traffic of people and began to look around her absentmindedly. Fiddling with the bandage on her hand, she took pleasure from the scent of warm spices that drifted on the smooth wind from the many street venders lining the road. Inhaling, she smiled and again her stomach rumbled insistently.

"…S-Sakura?"

Pausing, the pink haired jounin turned and met the familiar pair eyes of the girl who had plagued her thoughts for a good part of the day. The corners of her mouth curled up as she smiled at the girl who stood a little ways from her, eyes wide.

"Hello, Hinata."

Hinata ducked her head, shyly, fiddling with her fingers. "Hello." She whispered, staring at her feet. "Your hair is…n-nice." She complemented Sakura, glancing up quickly through her lashes before flicking them back down.

Sakura scratched her head and smiled. "Thanks, Hinata. I like it…it was a nice changed."

Hinata had looked up again and started when she saw her bandaged hand, forgetting her shyness for a moment. She stepped towards her boldly and took it in her small hands. "You're hurt Sakura!" Then she noticed the bandage on her cheek and clucked her tongue, returning to her hand.

The pink haired kunoichi watched her fuss over her, smiling a bit embarrassed. "Uh, yeah…It's nothing though…" She explained, awkwardly. Gently, she extracted her hand and stepped back from the smaller girl. "I got it from training with Naruto."

Hinata's head whipped up and she stared up at her with her pale eyes. "Naruto? Is h-he…?" Blushing, she trailed off.

Sakura chuckled. "He's fine, currently slurping noodles, if I'm correct. Hey… why don't you come with me, Hinata?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "You could get to know Naruto a bit more…"

Immediately her blush deepened. "A-are you sure…I don't wish to impose—"

Sakura cut her off, abruptly with a wave of her hand. "I insist, Hinata."

Smiling slowly, Hinata inclined her head and murmured, "Then I would be most honored, Sakura chan. Thank you very much."

Patting Hinata's shoulder, Sakura shook her head. "Come on, girl. Let's go."

They fell in step as they made their way down the street; Sakura studied the girl beside her out of the corner of her eye. The years had changed Hinata, for the good. Her hair was no longer short, instead it was long and swept back like Kurenai's; her outfit also reflected that of her sensei. It was amazing that Naruto hadn't taken interest in this beauty beside her. Such a shame.

Her chin firmed with determination. That would change soon.

Darkness quickly fell as the sun disappeared behind the trees by the time they reached the stand. Entering the brightness, Sakura took a seat, leaving the seat between her and Naruto available for Hinata. The dark haired girl hesitated for a moment before taking it.

"He-Hello, Naruto kun." She greeted him quietly, her words full of warmth and tenderness.

Naruto paused in his noodles, and glanced at her with surprise. "Hinata chan? Hi! What are you doing here?"

"I invited her." Sakura told him while smiling at the owner who waved at her before making her order without a word from her. Naruto immediately focused on her, Hinata forgotten. "Sakura, are you okay?"

Rolling her eyes, she nodded slightly. "Yes, Naruto, I'm fine," she sighed in annoyance. Kakashi glanced over his book at her, eyes lingering for a moment before returning to his book.

Sasuke didn't acknowledge her and her mood immediately darkened. Turning forward, she muttered and leaned on her forearms on the bar.

She listened to Hinata as she shyly started a conversation with Naruto, stumbling over her words so distracted by his attention. It was cute… her lips quirked, and she glanced up when a bowl was set in front of her.

Thanking the owner, she dug in.

/**Listen to them, Naruto is barely paying attention to her. He's talking about damn noodles again**/

'It's a start.'

An hour passed, and she was long since done. But she couldn't move from that stool, the light was just too welcoming for her to leave to go back to that empty apartment…at least, not yet.

Rubbing her temple, she straightened and called for some sake. The waitress immediately placed a bottle and cup in front of her.

Pouring the clear liquid, she quickly knocked it back, immediately refilling it.

Shot after shot, the burning liquid warmed her throat on its way down, soothing her nerves and loosening her. Swallowing another cup, she exhaled and focused on the company surrounding her. How could she feel so alone?

People she had known for years surrounded her…

/**Because you know you don't belong**/

Growling, she poured more Sake forcing herself to focus on the comforting alcohol.

"Sakura, are you okay?"

Looking up, she nodded at the two pairs of eyes staring at her with concern.

"Um, yeah." She said while smiling widely for them, though it was forced. Naruto looked at his pink haired friend pouring a never ending stream of alcohol into her cup and felt ashamed as he took note of the large bandage. 'Sakura…'

Sakura had turned back to her alcohol. Naruto suddenly stood up and paid for his dinner.

"See to you guys later."

Hinata stared after him for a moment, before standing up herself and following after him with a determined look in her eyes. Sakura watched this and chuckled, pleased by her friends action. A couple moments later, the others left.

/**He's going to hurt her**/

She ignored Inner Sakura, though she knew she was probably right. It plagued her mind until even the alcohol couldn't relieve her. Growling, she paid for everything and stumbled after Hinata.

* * *

Okay, I lied. This might be more than four chapters...but we'll see. I'll be speeding up in the next chapter. Sorry if it dragged at all. I'll rewrite it if anyone dislike the chapter. Please review and let me know what you think.


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